123 Funny Instagram Bios – Best Of All Time

Anonymous Sports Betting

You probably heard the saying, first impression is the last impression? Well that’s true in social media as it is in real life, and often times even more judgmental. Often times people create their online persona to reflect what they really want to be, not always what they are.

Someone may downplay their weaknesses and focus on their strengths to impress new friends online. Everyone remembers when they find out about a cool new Twitter or Instagram account and start following the person.

Often time’s it’s the funny or clever Instagram bios that best stick in someone’s mind and create a good first impression. But it’s not always clear how to make the best first impression. It’s a combination of being cool, funny, creative, unique and thoughtful.

That’s where I come in, I’ve compiled a list of the top Instagram bios from around the world and compiled them below so that you can get a good idea of what makes a good bio. But first, let’s get into a bit of tips on how to create your very own.

“Charm was a scheme for making strangers like and trust a person immediately, no matter what the charmer had in mind.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Breakfast of Champions

Tips On Great Instagram Bios

Creating your own bio can be daunting but below are some tips to get you going. If you read through the top bios below, you will notice that there are certain trends in them and that will give you a good idea of the building blocks necessary to be successful.

Make your bio short and sweet. No one likes long wordy descriptions and the shorter it is, the more memorable it will be.

Try to incorporate something funny into your bio to make people laugh, they are much more likely to remember it if they laugh while reading the description.

Create something that is unique to you and only you. This should be a glimpse into who you are and what you’re interested in. Make sure it does just that.

Read through the best Instagram bios to get ideas for your very own. You will notice that as you read through you will pick up on what strikes you as memorable and well done.

Use something that is commonly known, you could use a saying from a famous person, an alliteration that people may know, or a rhyme that is commonly told. If people have already heard something similar, they will recognize it and will be more likely to remember it.

funny instagram bios

Ultimately, the goal is to have a memorable bio and one that puts you in the best light. Make sure you are doing just that when writing your very own.

If you need any help editing your bio, check out the Instagram Help Center, which will walk you through steps to edit your profile photo, name, username, email, and bio.

 123 Funniest Instagram Bios

Without further ado, below are the best bios compiled from around the web. Let us know in the comments section below if you found other Instagram bios that aren’t on the list that should be. As more and more people sign up, there will be an ever increasing number of awesome descriptions to admire. Let’s give these men and women a congrats for coming up with some wicked good content.

    • *Insert your bio here*
    • A Caffeine dependent life-form
    • A human. Being.
    • A man of mystery and power, whose power is exceeded only by his mystery
    • Absolutely awkward, proudest of nerd & geek, decreaser of world sucking
    • Aggressively infancy and stuff
    • All you hipsters need to stop wearing Nirvana shirts if you don’t even listen to them.
    • Analogue at birth, digital by design
    • Anyone knows my Instagram username not making a new account again.
    • Are you a banker because I’d like you to leave me a loan
    • Bald. Often Unreliable. Easily distracte
    • Born at a very young age
    • Buddy, can you paradigm?
    • Buoyant, waggish, efficacious, indefatigable, demiurgic, convivial marketing companion, self-made thousandaire
    • Camping is intents
    • Can someone tell me my Instagram username I locked myself out and I do not know what to do
    • Chocolate doesn’t ask questions, chocolate understands
    • Coffee-Drinker, eReader Addict, Blogger. I’m very busy and awesome
    • Currently starring in my own reality show titled, A Modern Cinderella; One Girl’s Search for Love and Shoe
    • Currently working towards an MBA with an emphasis in fantasy football
    • Don’t think for a second that I actually care what you have to say

Dream big (tiny font)

    • Eating a whole apple core because you can’t be bothered going to the bin, admit it, you’ve done it.
    • Every storm runs out of rain
    • Fabulous ends in “us” coincidence? I think not
    • Generally, the path of least resistance appeals. Also, I am excellent at parallel parking.
    • God bless this hot mess
    • Good Samaritan, washed-up athlete, especially gifted napper.
    • Have lots of hair and like ugly things
    • Here to serve…. the cat overlord
    • I absolutely hate Instagram, and anything else having to do with hashtags.
    • I always feel sad for seedless watermelons, because what if they wanted babies?
    • I am an actor and a writer and I co-created my breakfast and my son, Malachai.
    • I am coming back to face the reality that a normal day is not beer on the beach or calamari in the belly.
    • I can quote (Insert movie) better than you and all your friends.
    • I Can’t remember who I stole my bio from or why
    • I have not lost my mind – it’s backed up on HD somewhere.
    • I have this new theory that human adolescence doesn’t end until your early thirties.
    • I hope one day I love something the way women in commercials love yogurt
    • I looked at my Instagram photos and realized I look beautiful.
    • I once sneezed a beanie weenie through my nose. I also made a horse faint in Costa Rica.
    • I only rap caucasionally
    • I prefer my puns intended
    • I put the hot in psychotic
    • I recently gave up Warcraft so my productivity, and drinking, have increased dramatically.
    • I shouldn’t be allowed to go on Snapchat, Facebook or Instagram when I’m drunk!

I still don’t understand Twitter, but here I am.

    • I talk like a baby and I never pay for drinks.
    • I think it’s weird if a girl doesn’t have an Instagram now days.
    • I used to act. I also belly dance and eat Jolly Ranchers – not always at the same time though.
    • I was addicted to hokey pokey but I turned myself around
    • I will go into survival mode if tickled
    • I’m a force to be reckoned with, I reckon
    • I’m not glad it’s “Friday” I’m glad it’s “Today”. Love your life 7 days a week.
    • I’m starting to like Instagram, which is weird because I hate pictures.
    • I’ve always thought being popular on Instagram is as about as useless as being rich in monopoly
    • I’m a Basset Hound aficionado with a mouth like a Syphilitic sailor.
    • I’m a Texan with lots of opinions and pretty hair.
    • I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I am joking.
    • I’m here to avoid friends on Facebook.
    • I’m not smart. I just wear glasses.
    • I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them
    • I’m real and I hope some of my followers are too.
    • I’m really a giant cupcake. Afraid of roller coasters and dry ice
    • If I could sum up my life in one line I would die of embarrassment
    • If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me, and we can make fun of people together
    • In search of sleep, sanity, & The Shire
    • Insert pretentious stuff about myself here.
    • It’s Weird that all pics shared from Instagram are always blurring.

Just a cupcake looking for a stud muffin

    • Just another paper cut survivor
    • Just keep swimming
    • Life is dumb and I want to sleep
    • Living vicariously through myself
    • Making the Snuggie look good since 2009.
    • Mama said life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get
    • Mermaids don’t do homework
    • My hobbies are breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
    • My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-Mart
    • My life was changed by a train.
    • My relationship status? Netflix, Oreos and sweatpants
    • Naturally and artificially flavored
    • Nice guys finish lunch.
    • Nothing more than a man who cared enough to try
    • Oh I’m sorry was my sass too much for you?
    • OMG no one cares
    • Only Swag girls are fascinated by hashtags on the Facebook.
    • Perfect has 7 letters and so does meeeeee. Coincidence? I think not.
    • Please insert pretentious crap about myself here.
    • Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together.
    • Probably the best meat eater in the world

Proud supporter of messy hair and sweatpants

    • Pudding tastes better with a plastic spoon
    • Putting’ the ‘elation’ in ‘Public Relations’
    • Recommended by 4 out of 5 people that recommend things.
    • Recovering ice cream addict
    • S P E C T A C U L A R V E R N A C U L A R
    • Someday, there’s going to be an updated version of me.
    • Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire.
    • Spreading smiles like they’re herpes
    • Stay classy
    • Super cali swagilistic sexy hella dopeness
    • That awkward moment you get accepted to all the schools you applied for.
    • The bags under my eyes belong to kaya west
    • The fat on my body is designer
    • The only person on Instagram who doesn’t claim to be a social media guru.
    • The only thing stopping me from being pure white trash is my lack of motivation.
    • There shouldn’t be a fear of getting old. It’s the fear of not getting there that scares me.
    • There’s no such thing as darkness, just an absence of light
    • To infinity and beyond
    • Trying to elevate small talk to medium talk.
    • Where the hell am I, and how did I get here?
    • White lips, pale face, I hate the entire human race
    • Why look up at the stars when the biggest star is me

Will show ankle for five minutes of wireless

  • Winner of World’s Best Wife Award (Category: Nagging)
  • Words cannot express my love & passion for Fridays!
  • You can follow me if you feel like it. You can also put peanut butter in your butthole, if you feel like it.
  • You can’t fix stupid, no matter how much duct tape you use over their mouth!
  • You is kind, you is smart, you is important
  • You know your in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
  • You’re too rad to be sad.
  • You’re a 10, on the pH scale, maybe. Cuz you’re basic

New Instagram Bios of 2015

I’m here to bring you brand new 2015 Instagram bios to keep you up to speed on the very newest and best bios out there. I’ll try to update with the very best 2015 bios and continually keep you laughing at these awesome examples. As usual, leave a comment below if you want to share your bio with everyone too!

Keep in mind that if you want to learn some tips and tricks about bios you can always browse through Appamatix. One cool trick is that you can create your bio in Microsoft Word and from there copy and paste it into Instagram. That way you can create emojis or symbols in Word and it will keep the same ones for you when you copy and paste it. It’s a quick and easy way to get around the limited editing options for bios within the Instagram app!

    • Millennial and proud of it
    • Things just ain’t the same for gangstas
    • This is my simple Chipotle dependent life
    • Car, house, or trip to Thailand? Let’s pack our bags
    • The reason I like you is simple, love, laughter, and your smile
    • How we live our life is far more important than how we say we live our life
    • The best of me is yet to come
    • Making history
    • On a scale of 1 to 10, I’m a 15
    • Math: Mental Abuse To Humans
    • Let go and let the world pass through your fingertips
    • Is it bad I’m constantly craving either cupcakes or donuts?
    • BAE means bacon and eggs

Exercise, ex..er..cise, ex…ar..cise, eggs are sides, for BACON!

  • When we met there was romance in the air, a sense of the world stopping still
  • I only use Instagram to stalk…
  • I’ve never been able to figure out this damn Twitter bio thing
  • I’m done with my dinner when I’ve had my dessert
  • This isn’t rocket science, you take a photo of brunch and you hashtag #yolo #sundayfunday
  • I haven’t been myself ever since I was born
  • This is my last Instagram bio ever
  • I wish I knew when my Dominos pizza would arrive
  • I’ve been waiting hours and I’ll be waiting for hours more, till my love arrives and my heart’s fulfilled
  • When I’m not on Instagram I’m on Netflix watching OITNB
  • Why would I ever leave the house when there’s Netflix and ice cream waiting for me
  • I do yoga sometimes, drink sometimes, party sometimes, and study rarely

That wraps up our guide on the best Instagram bios around the world. Let us know if there are any that we missed that you think should be included in this guide.


Posted in Funny Stuff by .

Coyote Overpopulation In West Virginia

Poker_banner_728x90
Coyote Overpopulation in West Virginia

This photo was taken on Route 60 – Just about a mile west of Sam Black. It needs updated as there are now more coyotes hanging there.


Posted in West Virginia, WVb Stuff by .

January 29th, 2016 In Green Bank, W.Va., Wi-Fi and Cellphones are Illegal

In Green Bank, W.Va., Wi-Fi and cellphones are illegal, and life goes on

In Green Bank, West Virginia, there are no cellphones or Wi-Fi because the town is home to one of the most powerful radio telescopes in the world, which is incredibly sensitive to electronic interference. NBC’s Kerry Sanders reports for TODAY on how the residents get by, and why they don’t really miss what others might consider to be necessary technology for modern living.


Posted in West Virginia by .