Idiots Guide To Marketing

Over the years, people have often asked me to explain the various concepts of Marketing Communications. The following analogies might help clarify the “tools of the trade.”

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, “I’m fantastic in bed.” — That’s Direct Marketing.

You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says, “She’s fantastic in bed.” — That’s Advertising.

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, “Hi, I’m fantastic in bed.” — That’s Telemarketing.

You’re at a party and see a handsome guy. You get up and straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, “May I,” and reach up to straighten his tie brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, “By the way, I’m fantastic in bed.” — That’s Public Relations.

You’re at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, “I hear you’re fantastic in bed.” — That’s Brand Recognition.

You’re at a party and see a handsome guy. You talk him into going home with your friend. — That’s a Sales Rep.

Your friend can’t satisfy him so he calls you. — That’s Tech Support.

You’re on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you’re passing. So you climb onto the roof of one situated toward the center and shout at the top of your lungs, “I’m fantastic in bed!” — That’s Spam.


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The Best Football Play In The World

Anonymous Sports Betting

Or, quite possibly the worst.

I count about 14 laterals in this one. Something not often seen unless your on a middle school playground. 🙂


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How To Rent A Domain Name

rent a domainChances are you haven’t heard about renting a domain name. If you have heard about it, you may be wondering just how it is done. It’s actually quite simple. Let me explain.

Let’s say that I own a domain named “superblogger.com.” Someone else (who is actually a superblogger), is trying to buy that domain name. They try to buy it, and see that I own it. They do a search for the administrative contact, and find my email. They offer to buy the domain from me for a small price. I feel that the domain is worth more than they are offering and we come to bartering standstill.

I offer to “rent” the domain name to them. The important thing for me to do is to keep control of the domain name registration. I will NOT under any circumstance put their information in the administrative contact or any other contact on the domain name. The way I will give control to them to publish content is to change the NAMESERVER information and make this point to their hosting provider.

They need to sign up for a hosting account and then give me the two nameservers that go along with that hosting account. I will then go into my domain name service, and change the nameservers to point to their hosting account. When the business contract is over, I can change them to point back to a hosting account controlled by myself. If their short business stint was lucrative enough, they may realize the true value of the domain and offer me my original asking price, or they may wish to rent it again for another quarter.

Easy huh? If you were lucky enough to be around in the big dotcom boom when everyone was buying up domain names, you know just what I am talking about. Some domain names are very valuable, and will continue to be valuable for years to come.


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