The Twelve Inch Special

Twelve Inch SpecialMy wife and I don’t go out to eat all that often. The majority of our dinners are spent sitting on the couch, trying to keep our daughter occupied and watching whatever we recorded on our DVR the night before. We had some family was in town just a few weeks ago. They didn’t enjoy our dinner ritual as much as we do, so we spent a lot of nights eating out. One night in particular, we all went out to the Outback Steakhouse.

Once we were all seated at the table, the waiter came by and took our drink order. I never did catch his name, so for the purposes of this tale, we’ll call him “John”. John started at the other end of the table, and as he spoke, I definitely got the vibe that John may… well… enjoy the company of other men. I wasn’t getting a “Liberace in a sequined jumpsuit” strength vibe… more like a “have you ever noticed that cousin Tom never brings a girl to Thanksgiving dinner” type of feeling. Why do I mention the possible sexuality of our server? It will all become clear pretty soon…

After we all order our drinks, John heads off to get them and put in our spinach and artichoke dip order. I start to look over the menu, and I decide to get a steak. The one I want in particular is called the “Outback Special”, and since I was hungry, I figured I’d get the 12 ounce. I closed my menu and started up a conversation with my father.

John came back and started to take our order. When it was my turn to order, I loudly proclaimed “Yes, I’d like your 12 inch special.” Oh yeah… Freud would have been proud.

I tried my best to play it off by saying “That was silly… I mean the 12 OUNCE special…”, but there’s really no recovering from something like that. I made eye contact with my wife, who, God bless her, was doing her best to maintain her composure. I refused to turn around and make eye contact with John… I just quietly closed my menu and passed it over my shoulder to him. Luckily the rest of my family was either too preoccupied or too innocent to realize what I had just said…

Free Sports Picks and Newsletters

Posted in Family, Funny Stuff by .

A Cognative Science Experiment

Anonymous Sports Betting

It goes like this:

The researcher leads a pre-school (age 4 or 5) child into a room. In the room there is a pedestal and a large, tasty marshmallow.

The researcher tells the child “you can eat the marshmallow whenever you want. But, if you wait until after I get back, you will be allowed to eat two marshmallows!”

The researcher now leaves the room.

This being a science experiment, they recorded what the children did.

Some of the children ate the marshmallow before the door closed on the researcher.

Some of the children walked up to the marshmallow, handled it, sniffed it, and agonized over not being able to eat it.

Coping strategies varied — one child even went to sleep on a mattress.

Others didn’t have much of a problem ignoring the marshmallow.

Apparently, about 1/3 ate the marshmallow, 1/3 had serious issues resisting, but managed, and 1/3 had no problem resisting.

They came back and looked at the study participants years and years later. The children who had the least problem delaying their gratification had were showing signs of becoming much more successful than the children who had problems, or who couldn’t resist eating the marshmallow.

So, here is the question. Do you think you could have resisted the marshmallow?


Posted in Health by .

A Childs Point Of View

I find it amazing how we can all view the world in different ways. A lack of understanding can give one a totally different perspective!

True Story.

The wife and I were going to the grocery store over the weekend and there was a State Police sitting near the sidewalk. It was a K-9 unit, and the dog was in the back seat. There was a woman and a small boy getting out of a vehicle that had Wilmington real estate posters all over it. They ended up in front of us on the sidewalk. As they approached the officer, the boy leaned over toward her and asked “Ma’am, is that a dog in your car?”

“Why yes it is” she responded.

With a very serious look on his face the kid asked, “What did he do to get arrested?”

I immediately burst into laughter while the boys mother glared at me. Hey, it was funny! If my daughter would have asked that, I would have laughed just as hard…. maybe even harder.


Posted in Funny Stuff by .