Big Fight This Morning

Anonymous Sports Betting

It was the wife and I. She started it though…I was telling the truth!

nutnbitch.jpg

It’s old, I know. But I couldn’t resist the temptation.

Speaking of temptation and wives, mine recently bought some fine lingerie that was supposed to be a surprise for Valentines day. It came in the mail, and being the snoop that I am, I opened the box. I quickly put it back in there and pretended like I never saw anything….


Posted in Family, Home Life by .

This Is Why Trampolines Are Dangerous

Dangerous Trampoline

You should have some life insurance before climbing aboard this thing. Those antlers are as sharp as spikes, and they could easily pierce your skin. And seeing as what I like to call “common sense” warning labels are now placed on everything, I can already imagine this one. “Warning! Do not jump on trampoline while whitetail deer are underneath. Antlers may cause injury or death.”

 


Posted in Funny Stuff by .

A Short Story

One of the main reasons I am enjoying working out on my new elliptical is the energy boost that comes when I am done. I guess that it is just because of the exercise, but that boost wakes me up and makes me feel revived for a few hours.

I was doing my usual routine on the elliptical over the weekend. I had the television on in the bedroom where I was working out. The volume was low so I didn’t disturb anyone (the elliptical makes no noise). I was startled by a loud bang / pop that sounded like someone popping a brown paper bag that was full of air. This sound was immediately followed by shrieks of pain, several nasty curse words, and ultimately some whimpering, whining, and crying.

I stopped my workout short and ran to see what was going on. I found my wife in the floor holding her foot and trying not to cry. I asked her what happened, then I noticed that the baby gate looked as if someone had kicked it across the room. She had stepped over it just fine with her first foot, but the second foot was a few inches shy of clearing it. Her pinky toe had slammed into the top of the gate causing all sorts of problems. One of which was a broken toe…

It turned a lovely shade of purple in only a few minutes. She can barely stand on it now, so there will be no elliptical exercise for her for a few days / weeks. The worst part about it… ?  She broke this same toe about 2 years ago when she was walking through the kitchen and kicked the kitchen table leg..heh.


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