Economic Stimulus – What Are You Going To Do With Yours?

The Money TreeIt is almost time for that economic stimulus package that we have been hearing so much about. What are you going to with yours?

If we spend that money at Walmart, all the money will go to China; if we spend it on computers, most of the money will go to Korea or India; if we spend it on gasoline, it will all go to the Arabs…and none of these scenarios will help the American economy.

We need to keep the money here in America so….the only way to do that is to drink beer, gamble, or spend it on prostitution…currently, it seems that these are the only businesses left in the U.S.

I suppose that most of mine will go toward the purchase of Miller Light. 🙂

Error! Error!

I often wonder how things like the below go unnoticed. Was it truly human error, or was it a disgruntled employee trying to make himself feel better before walking out the door. Perhaps it was just someone having a little fun at the expense of others. Regardless, these are pretty funny!

IMPORTANT NOTICE If you’re one of hundreds of parachuting
enthusiasts who bought our Easy Sky Diving book, please make the
following correction on page 8, line 7, the words “state zip code”
should have read “pull rip cord.”

It was incorrectly reported last Friday that today is “T-shirt
Appreciation Day”. In fact, it’s actually “Teacher Appreciation
Day”.

There was a mistake in an item sent in two weeks ago which stated
that Ed Burnham entertained a party at “crap shooting”. It should
have been “trap shooting”.

Acne treatment should only be applied to your face, not your buttocks as previously directed.

There are two important corrections to the information in the
update on our Deep Relaxation professional development program.
First, the program will include “meditation”, not “medication”.
Second, it is “experiential”, not “experimental”.

In the City Beat section of Friday’s paper, firefighter Dwight
Brady was misidentified. His department nickname is “Dewey”. It
is another firefighter who’s nicknamed “Weirdo”. We apologize
for our mistake.

Our newspaper carried the notice last week that Mr. Oscar Hoffnagle
is a “defective” on the police force. This was a typographical
error. Mr. Hoffnagle is, of course, a “detective” on the police
farce.

In a recent edition, we referred to the chairman of Chrysler
Corporation as Lee “Iacoocoo”. His real name is Lee “Iacacca”.
The Gazette regrets the terror.

Apology I originally wrote, “Woodrow Wilson’s wife grazed sheep
on front lawn of the White House.” I’m sorry that typesetting
inadvertently left out the word “sheep.”

In one edition of today’s Food Section, an inaccurate number of
jalapeno peppers was given for Jeanette Crowley’s Southwestern
chicken salad recipe. The recipe should call for “2” (two), not
“21”, jalapeno peppers.

The marriage of Miss Freda vanAmburg and Willie Branton, which
was announced in this paper a few weeks ago, was a mistake which
we wish to correct.

A New X-Files Movie In The Works!

I’m am one of the biggest X-Files geeks that I know of, and the news I read yesterday sent chills up and down my spine. A brand spanking new X-Files movie!

OMG! OMG! OMG! I can hardly wait!

`X-Files’ Creator Spills Film Details
Thursday March 27 8:49 AM ET

The truth about “The X-Files” sequel some of it, anyway is now out there.

“X-Files” creator Chris Carter, writer Frank Spotnitz and other crew members gathered Wednesday to discuss the TV series and declassify some information about the upcoming film.

The popular Fox paranormal drama, which aired from 1993 to 2002, starred David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson as FBI agents Fox Mulder and Dana Scully

“While this is not a mythology movie, it’s true to everything that’s come before,” Spotnitz said at the William S. Paley Television Festival. “It’s true to Mulder and Scully, who they are and where they would be this point in their lives and all of the experiences that they’ve had.”

The series first made the leap to the big screen with 1998’s “The X-Files: Fight the Future” Plans for another film were grounded in 2005 when Carter sued Fox over syndication profits for the show. The lawsuit was later settled.

Carter, who also directs the new movie, said it takes place in the present and uses a story envisioned when the series ended. While the show’s sprawling alien mythology isn’t part of the plot, Carter said there is a reference to Scully’s seemingly supernatural son, William, who was born in season eight and later given up for adoption.

The film is due out July 25.

Carter was tightlipped about the title.

“I can’t tell you,” he said. “I know what I want it to be, but Fox has some ideas of their own.”