I argue very well. Just ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don’t even invite me.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
I have a strange craving right now for French toast. And syrup (the real kind!). And bacon, with orange juice. And a waitress named ‘Flo’ or ‘Betty’.
One time in Tennessee I was watching these penguins at an aquarium for hours, they were so funny… and they had multicolored hair sticking out of their ears. There was this one big penguin who beat up the other penguins and got to the top of the rock. Then another penguin and his buddy tried to overthrow him but the king penguin pooped on them before they could and they looked very embarrassed and hopped down into the water. I laughed.
For some reason, the word ‘Festoon’ makes me laugh. It’s not quite Fester, not quite Dubloon, and not quite Pontoon. Titmouse. How can you not laugh at Titmouse?
Never buy a book on how to write books. If the person who wrote it really knew how to write books, he’d be writing something that would make more money than a book about how to write books. It’s all in my book about how to avoid buying books about writing books.