The Economy Is So Bad, Even Ninjas Are Looting

Female ‘Ninjas’ Rob Richland Gas Station With Sword, Dagger

Police said two women dressed as ninjas were responsible for the hold-up of a Richland Township gas station Saturday morning using a samurai sword.

Police said the two women — one with a dagger, and the other carrying the sword — entered a Sunoco station in the 5600 block of Route 8 at about 3 a.m.According to police, the women tied up the clerk and robbed the store of cash, cigarettes and lottery tickets.

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You know things are getting bad when a Ninja can’t even find work. C’mon…they’re ninjas! They should never have to resort to such desperate acts like this.

I had been giving the Ninja career some serious thought over the past few months. If it is this hard for them to find work now, I think I will have to rethink my previous thoughts. Yup.

Circus Performer Gets Penis Stuck In Vacuum Cleaner

Sometimes the headline of a story can just grab your attention and force you to read it’s story. This is one of those articles.

A dwarf performer at the Edinburgh fringe festival had to be rushed to hospital after his penis got stuck to a vacuum cleaner during an act that went horribly awry.

Daniel Blackner, or Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf, was due to perform at the Circus of Horrors at the festival known for its oddball, offbeat performances.

The main part of his act was for him to appear on stage with a vacuum cleaner attached to his member with a special apparatus.

The attachment broke before the performance and Blackner tried to fix it using extra-strong glue, but unfortunately let it dry for only 20 seconds instead of the 20 minutes required.

He then joined it directly to his organ. The end result? A solid attachment, laughter, mortification and … hospitalization.

“It was the most embarrassing moment of my life when I got wheeled into a packed A&E with a vacuum attached to me,” Blackner said.

“I just wished the ground could swallow me up. Luckily, they saw me quickly so the embarrassment was short-lived.”

via SMH