This list of simple inventions was created by me as a fun way to try and think of simple things that I use on a daily basis (more or less). That’s right, simple things.
8. Toothbrush – I often wonder about words and how they were “invented”. Toothbrush is one of those words. Logic tells me that it should be called a teethbrush. After all, there is more than 1 tooth in your mouth…hopefully. It sounds funny now, but if you grew up calling it a teethbrush, then toothbrush would sound funny to you.
7. Automotive sunshade – Because we all know the one thing that is worse than no sun is too much sun. These foldable cardboard creations were quickly bought by millions and placed into vehicles worldwide. You could elect to put the cute cartoon character or ocean scene facing the outside to reflect the sun. Alternatively, you could put out the side that said “NEED HELP: PLEASE CALL POLICE”, ensuring that no one would stop at the side of the road and disturb whatever it is that you may be doing.
6. Wheel – What good would a simple invention list be without a wheel? Sometime around 3,500 B.C. someone in Mesopotamia decided that dragging rocks, trees, and wenches around all day was too exhausting. My guess is that someone noticed a rock or log rolling down a hill one day. Not just saw it, but really noticed it. A light bulb went off in his/her head and the first thoughts and ideas of a wheel were instilled into that person. No one knows for sure when the wheel was actually invented, but regardless of the exact century, everyone agrees that it was a very long time ago.
5. Pencil – A small round stick of wood with some graphite shoved up the center of it. One of the most useful yet simplest items known to man….well, this man anyway. A little known fact is that most pencil lead is actually a mixture of graphite, clay, and wax. Some pencils use charcoal instead of graphite. There is actually no lead in pencil lead. The first pencils were made sometime around the early 1500’s. Today’s wood pencils still use the same design as was used then. Carve two wooden halves, insert graphite stick, glue together. Simple huh?
4. Matches – Who would have thought that a little bit of phosphorus on a stick could do so much? Having been around for almost 400 years now, these little fellas have done everything from igniting candles when the power goes out, to lighting another cigarette from your pack when your nicotine receptors start screaming at you. The first matches were created in the 1680’s, but they weren’t very stable and they were stinky. The matches that we have all came to know and love were actually “invented” in 1827. I imagine that matches will be around for another 400 years or so. At least the little books of matches that you find in bars….how else would the murder mystery be solved if it wasn’t for the matchbook in the coat pocket?
3. Toilet Paper – This one was close to being number two, but I figured that if needed, the number two item could be supplemented for this in an emergency situation. I watch Discovery and the National Geographic channel a lot. In some of the places where the tribes are completely uncivilized, I have often wondered what these people use to wipe their butt with. Seriously. I’m not making fun or picking on these people, but the thought has always crossed my mind. Being an outdoorsy type of person, I know for a fact that leaves do not work well. If you have to use ’em, they semi-get the job done until you get to a bathroom with some toilet paper…or a shower. So what do these people use? Something as simple and great as toilet paper deserves the number 3 spot.
2. Post it Notes – The number two simple invention is none other than post it notes. Without these little jewels, most offices would cease operation. Such a simple idea turned into a multi-million dollar dream. Our office is so heavily reliant on post it notes, I think I could sell them to people for 10 cents per post it when they are needing their fix. Not only are they handy to write on, they are particularly useful for pranks.
1. Condoms – Not only are condoms useful in the prevention of an unwanted pregnancy (poor kid), they are pretty good at preventing the spread of sexually transmitted diseases. I believe that the person who created the condom is the worlds smartest man. Unless the condom breaks because it’s rotten from carrying it in your wallet for several years hoping for that one chance to rip the package open with your teeth, slip it on your willy and have your way with the woman of your dreams. If she’s not the woman of your dreams, she is at least the woman of the moment, and probably soon to be the mother of your bastard son