A Slight Booger Problem

Booger ProblemDon’t you hate it when you are driving 80 mph and your nose kind of itches, so you pick at it, not PICK IT, but just kind pick at the edge of your nostril with your thumb without even thinking about what you are doing, and you get a little bit of old, dried booger, like just a LITTLE flake of booger, and you begin to remove the little, tiny, booger-flake but then you feel a sensation like the entire contents of your head are connected to this booger flake, and its too late to stop pulling the booger out, and a huge, I MEAN HUGE booger slides out of your nasal cavity and your eyes kind of sink back into your head from the pressure change, but then all the air that rushes in to fill the void left by the mega-booger pushes them back into their sockets, and then you have this banana-slug of a booger draped over your thumb and back of your hand and down your wrist, but you are driving fucking 80mph and you are wearing a suit and don’t have a tissue so you don’t know what to do with this sudden appearance of the King of All Boogers on your hand, so you roll down the window and hope that the wind will blow it off you, but the booger doesn’t cooperate and ends up embedded in the sleeve of your suit jacket?

Fuck. I hate that.

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  1. wow, that really escalated in a hurry. hilarious story though. i think we’ve all been there. at least i know i have. “it wasn’t a pick, it was a scratch!”

  2. I think this is a good argument for public transportation. Had you been riding a bus, you could have just wiped the booger off on the guy in front of you.

  3. yup. I hate when that happens. :???:

    Glad I am not the only one!

    wow, that really escalated in a hurry. hilarious story though. i think we’ve all been there. at least i know i have. “it wasn’t a pick, it was a scratch!”

    Sometimes those scratches turn into huge monstrosities as the above story clearly demonstrates! :mrgreen:

    I think this is a good argument for public transportation. Had you been riding a bus, you could have just wiped the booger off on the guy in front of you.

    What a great idea!

  4. I found that the best thing to do with a big big booger is play with it for a while. You know, roll it around until it firms up then you can throw it out the window or throw it in your wife’s hair while she’s sleepin’.
    Or, when you finally get that big booy out of your nose, along with part of your brain you gotta look at it first. I mean there it is in all its slimy green glory on the tip of your index finger. Just take it and wipe it under the seat or hold your hand out and let your dog lick it off. Dogs like boogers. Or, you could very carefully put it in on the edge of your wife’s nostril opening while she’s asleep and then tell her “honey you got a big booger in your nose” when she wakes up. :