My Ship Has Came In!

Today is my lucky day!

I won the Spanish Lotto!! (For the third time too!).

What am I still doing here at work? I should be home returning that winning e-mail. All I have to do is send my account number to the official lottery guy (I know he’s official because he had a long title and some sort of letters after his name) and within two weeks, I’m $134 million richer. I asked about the two previous winnings. Apparently, they had my old address and the checks are lost in the mail.

I sure hope the Post Office gets all of this straightened out as I am also expecting some other gifts I have won too, such as 3 Ipods, 9 Razr phones, & 14 or 15 laptops. My boyfriend is waiting on the 3000 or so CialIs or Vlagra pills as they are no good to me.

All this excitement today has put a crimp on my daily schedule. I was going to send my bank account number to that lawyer in Nigeria so he could transfer $33 million to my account. Seems his client was the only honest guy in Nigeria and the bad guys, the government bad guys, are trying to steal his money. I get 25 percent! I already quit my extra night job and I’m not so sure I’m coming to work tomorrow. I’ll probably help him out anyway.

The lotto winning couldn’t have come at a better time! This money will come in quite handy. Just yesterday a couple of guys told me they were riding down the street and noticed my roof was damaged. I couldn’t see a thing but they saw it because they’re trained with a keen eyes, being experts and all.

They had business cards that said, “roof experts.” I noticed the ink was smeared a little on their business cards and they said they have so much business that they can’t keep up with the demand for their business cards so they have to print their own!

They took the time to walk with me and point to things on the roof! The $5,000 that I spend now will save me $20,000 next spring. That was a stroke of luck because while we were walking, the other guy found a chip in my driveway. Did you know that one small cement chip could spread, like a crack in the windshield, so fast that in a week’s time it could turn into a sinkhole and affect the ozone layer and cause global warming?

These two guys can actually fix the driveway when they’re not fixing roofs because they’re trained in driveway problems, too.

It was a hot day, so I invited them in for some cold refreshments. One of the guys, I don’t remember if it was Mr. Jones or Smith, said that my water tasted funny. Thankfully, I was able to buy a water filter from one of them whose uncle was in the business. What in the heck is going on here? I had no idea my house was so messed up!

Well, we were standing outside talking about all the new door-dings Mr. Smith found in my car door when my neighbor came home riding on the back of a turnip truck. I guess the truck hit a bump because my neighbor fell right off. Those two guys thanked me for the bad-tasting water, gave me a card so I could call them about the new multi-level marketing idea they wanted to bring me in on, and walked over to see if my neighbor was OK.

They began to look at his roof. Lucky for him! His driveway is asphalt, unlike mine which is concrete, but these guys can coat asphalt drives too! He must look like a suave business guy to them. I went back in the house to check my e-mail only to find that my bank account number was messed up. Thank God the bank was thoughtful enough to send me a notice that I needed to send my bank account number over the Internet so they could fix it.

Good timing. I don’t want my account all messed up when I get all that money from Nigeria and Spain! How lucky can a guyget?!..all of this in one day!

I gotta go now and reply to that winning email and hope the bank gets my account straightened out to prepare for the big deposit.

My ship has finally come in…..!!

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