Unfortunately Fortunate?

Don't eat any Chinese food today or you will be sick.

Don't eat any Chinese food today or you will be sick.

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On one particularly sunny summer Saturday, while watching the comedian Dave Attell crack jokes about eating penguins, the dreaded discussion of dinner plans developed. Not wanting to cook, my wife suggested we order some kind of take-out. In the mood for something south of the border, I suggested Mexican food. But alas, my taco and enchilada filled dreams were not to materialize as I had to concede to my family’s wishes of Chinese food.

I went along with what my family wanted and ordered beef lo mien.

Twenty minutes later, I relaxed on the microsuede sofa, periodically eating the passable lo mien straight out of the carton, still chuckling at the comedic styling of Dave Attell. As usual, the vegetables along with the noodles were either soggy or a little too singed and the beef was over cooked and fatty, but my hunger wouldn’t allow me to neglect a decent meal.

After consuming around half of the container along with an egg roll, I decided enough was enough, closed the carton and stuck it in the refrigerator. I finally arrived at my favorite part of the Chinese take out experience, the end accompanied by a fortune cookie. With a pleasant snap I broke the little piece of fried dough right down the center.

Something was missing from the oriental concoction. I noticed, to my bewilderment, the lack of a fortune, a big disappointment when spending an entire meal looking forward to some quip about success and an assortment of lucky lottery numbers. But not wanting to waste a treat, I popped each half of the broken cookie into my mouth without flourish.

Who would make such a shoddy fortune cookie? I thought of writing the company an unfavorable e-mail in bold red type, but then again it was only a cookie and the best they could do was offer condolences or send me another. Could a fortune cookie sans fortune even be called a fortune cookie, or was it now just a cookie, albeit one in my stomach? Maybe the situation presented a blank check of sorts, an opportunity to make up my own fortune. Or maybe it was just a fortune cookie without a fortune.

All of this cookie talk makes me wonder… does Leptovox work?

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