17 Rumors Overheard From That Kid In Third Period


  1. If you combine turkey, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce and one green vegetable, you get the chemicals which make LSD, which is why Thanksgiving always gets so freaky and everyone gets into fights.
  2. If you hiccup and fart at the same time, your stomach will turn inside out.
  3. AIDS came from people French-kissing their dogs.
  4. The secret ingredient in Taco Bell 7-Layer Burritos is horse blood.
  5. Simon Cowell is actually from Oklahoma, and he invented Lasik surgery.
  6. If you fold a dollar bill a certain way, you can see Betsy Ross naked.
  7. Daddy Longlegs legs taste like spearmint.
  8. The inventor of Elmers Glue was born with horns, and that’s his picture on the bottle.
  9. Everyone who has ever beat Ninja Gaiden Black has died the next day.
  10. ABBA stands for “All-father Baal Beats Angels.
  11. Yu-Gi-Oh! was supposed to have a new season but the FBI stepped in and shut it down under the Patriot Act, and no one knows why.
  12. The phrase Every Good Boy Deserves Fudge is propaganda created and promoted by the American Fudge Council.
  13. Girls don’t wear underwear in Canada.
  14. The film rating XXX is pronounced “kccchhggh”.
  15. If you have ever touched a baked potato without gloves, the government has your fingerprints on file.
  16. There is cocaine at the center of Polly-O String Cheese.
  17. If you play Paper Mario for exactly fifty-five hours, fifty-five minutes, and fifty-five seconds, you’ll get a cheat code that lets you play as Lara Croft…naked.


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