How To Say Grace In 2008

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Dear Lord, we ask you if you will,
put your blessing on this meal.
We ask you Father, if it pleases,
protect us from these new diseases.

Please bless the spinach, and the romaine.
And cleanse it of some lurking ptomaine.
God, bless our ice cream and our cola.
Pray it’s not teaming with ebola.

And pray the deli didn’t sell us
coleslaw ripe with salmonellus.
We also ask a special blessing;
no botulism in the dressing.

While we regard your higher power,
make sure the deviled eggs aren’t sour.
And please Lord, bless our sirloin tip,
and purge it of E. Coli’s grip.

A special blessing on the sherry,
oh Lord, we need no dysentery,
so it not poisons, nor impacts,
or liquefies our lower tracts.

And Lord, make sure no one is able
to get sick and die upon this table.
So bless, Lord, all this food we share.
Insure no deadly virus there.

And once we’re full and satiated,
we pray we aren’t all contaminated,
and wind up just another toll,
for the Center for Disease Control.

One last thing Lord, if it’s OK,
Please hold this blessing that we pray.
For all this fear, and all this fright,
has made us lose our appetite.

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