Sperm Bank Fiasco

Random unrelated image: Alaskan Grizzly Bear Notice

A friend of mine from way back in grade school stopped by recently while I was in the middle of browsing for new HDMI cables. We rarely get the chance to talk anymore, and it’s even more rare to actually get a chance to sit down with a few beers and really talk.

After the usual “What have you been into lately” B.S. we got into the discussion of what was happening with our more private family lives. He began to tell me of some drama in his life and I had to pick my jaw up off the floor a couple of times.

His story goes a little something like this:

He went through chemo for some type of lymphoma a few years ago. Before the chemo, he was asked if he wanted to preserve a couple of samples of his sperm in case he wanted to have children later on in life. It was possible that the chemo could make him sterile so he opted to have the samples frozen. They would be good for 10 years.

A couple of weeks ago he gets a phone call from the sperm bank / clinic. A woman had come in and was curious about the identity of the donor she had used to create her 18-month-old child. The clinic agreed to check because the donor had not wished to remain anonymous.

The clinic told the woman who her donor was, and to double check for accuracy, they matched the baby’s DNA to that of the donor.

Problem. It didn’t match.

They ran a search on all their donors, and the baby’s DNA matched that of my buddy.

Due to a clerical error / filling mistake / leaving the important shit to morons, his sperm was used as a donors sperm. He was told that he didn’t have to contact the lady if he didn’t want to.

He currently doesn’t know what he is going to do, and he was noticeably distraught by this. I feel for the guy, I really do…but I had not an inking of advice for him. I think I said damn several times. That’s about all I could muster. What do you say to someone that is going through something like this?

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  1. Wait, so did they use all of his sperm? If it’s gone now, then he definitely has a lawsuit on his hands. If enough remains for his own purposes, then I’d just let it go. He’s not responsible for the kid. The mom might have a nice case on her hands, though.

  2. Wow. That is just insane. I would sue the bank for the simple reason that sperm was for HIS use not theirs. Other than that, he has to respect the wishes of the mother and if she’s OK with contact or not.

    That’s got to be tough for him.

    Coal Miner’s Granddaughters last blog post..Sunday Panties

  3. Kyra – I’m not sure if there was any left over. I never thought to ask.

    Liz – See above

    CMG – He was having a rough time with it. Very unsure of whether to contact the mother or not. How would she take it if she found out he wasn’t really a donor?

    Stephanie – Yea, Damn.