Some of the greatest product reviews ever created are on the reviews page for this Uranium Ore.
Reading some of these reviews left me in stitches. Here is a preview:
I bought this to power a home-made submarine that I use to look for prehistoric-era life forms in land-locked lakes around my home town in Alaska. At first I wasn’t sure if this item would (or could) arrive via mail, but I was glad to see it showed up with no problems. Well, almost no problems.
Unfortuantly my mom opened my mail, because she does not respect people’s privacy. She was pretty upset to see Uranium Ore. After a long argument and me running away from home again, she finaly stopped being such an idiot and I was able to get back to work.
The quality of this Uranium is on par with the stuff I was bying from the Libyans over at the mall parking lot, but at half the price! I just hope the seller does not run out, because I have many projects on my list including a night vision sasquatch radar, an electromagnetic chupakabra cage, a high velocity, aerial, weighted Mothman net and super heated, instant grill cheese sandwhich maker.
Sent this as a Hanukkah gift to President Ahmadinejad. Got a thank you card back saying he loved it and I was his favorite infidel. Kudos to Amazon for a great product and fast shipping to Tehran. It’s been almost 100 days since I “disposed” of the Uranium Ore I purchased from Amazon.com. Seeing as how they sent me 10 orders instead of 1 I thought it would be alright to dispose of the two or three cans in the backyard. 91 days later and I’m barricaded in my house, besieged by mutated grasshoppers, bees, wasps, and ants the size of ponies. My food stores are dwindling; I only have a few gallons of Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz left, though a spritz of Uranium Ore has kept it fresh all this time. I’m down to my last box of Fresh Whole Rabbit as well. Even though I had to kill them (again), some of the Uranium Ore I used on the Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz has also helped them stay fresh during these past few months.
I’m not sure how much longer I can last here, the noises coming through the walls is constant, day and night. The scratching and scraping, the buzzing and chirping these mutated monsters make around the clock is, I fear, driving me inexorably further to the brink of insanity. I know that soon, I’ll take my chances outside the door of my home and fight for survival in a world gone mad; but with my newly grown wings and the lobster-claw appendages that have sprouted from my back, I might just have a chance after all…
Whenever I fly I always pack a can of this wonder stuff in each piece of my luggage. As we all know, so many bags look alike. How often do you get to your hotel, only to find you have walked away with the wrong bag, and are forced to wear a stranger’s underwear for the rest of the trip? We’ve all been there right? So when that confusing luggage starts whirling around the baggage claim carousel I just whip out my Geiger Counter and let the uranium go to work for me. I merely wait for those comforting clicks (and after longer flights look for the glowing hot spot) and I know I have found my bags. Occasionally airlines lose my bags (yes, it does happen people). But whenever I fill out that claim form, and let them know my uranium is missing – well I tell you, they literally SPRING into action. They’ll track down that errant bag faster than you can say “Chernobyl.”
And I cannot tell you how many new friends I have made in TSA and Customs since I’ve adopted this sure-fire system. Nothing brightens their day quite like finding a traveler with potentially fissionable material. Throw away those gaudy rainbow bag straps forever and step into the atomic age. It’s no longer just uranium, it’s my-ranium. Thanks Amazon!
And that is just a few. While you are there, you can also read the reviews for
- Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz
- Wheelmate Laptop Steering Wheel Desk
- A Million Random Digits with 100,000 Normal Deviates
- Fresh Whole Rabbit
Read and enjoy!