Actual Quotes From Labels On Packing Of Common Household Products

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jonny catI was rather amused at the information written on the bag [of JONNY CAT, cat litter].

The best has to be: “JONNY CAT is the best value for your money. A 20 lb. bag of JONNY CAT contains 25% more litter than 16 lb. bags, and 43% more than 14 lb. bags!”

Other importanant info:

“100% natural clay mined from a rare deposit makes Jonny Cat especially absorbent.”

AND THEN they have a section for “Other Uses” of Jonny Cat:

  • “GARAGE SPILLS-sweeps up oil and grease and reduces stains”
  • “TRASH CANS-a layer on the bottom reduces odors and discourages flies”
  • “REFRIGERATORS- an inexpensive nontoxic odor absorbent”
  • “GARDENS-enhances water retention and soil aeration, promotes growth”

All this from a cat litter! Who could ask for more!

From my sons Halloween costume (superman) – stitched into the cape was a tag saying “Warning: Use of This Device Does Not Enable Wearer To Fly”.

From a Pop-Tart (TM) box: “Warning: Pastry Filling May Be Hot When Heated”

From a newspaper article: “A congressionally-funded study has determined that many smokers are ignoring the warning labels on cigarette packages”

From a hair blow-dryer instruction sheet: “Warning: Do Not Use While Sleeping”

On the package for Top Cog fan belts (automotive use), the first step of the instructions tells you not to change the belt while the engine is running.

From the local newspaper, describing ways to beat the heat. “No. 1. Stay out of the direct rays of the sun.”

Found on the inside of a pull top lid of a liquid radiator sealant: “Caution: DO NOT LICK LID”

Written on the back of one of those things you put in your car windshield on sunny days when you park to keep your dash from melting: DO NOT OPERATE VEHICLE WITH SCREEN IN PLACE

I recently bought a radial arm saw, admittedly a genuinely dangerous product. Of course the manual had two or three warnings per page about hands, fingers, and arms being cut off. The one that really surprised me was the warning on one page about cutting your leg off. It took me quite a few days of pondering to figure out how that could be accomplished, but I haven’t tried it yet. I even figured out one way that you could cut your head off, and there wasn’t even a warning about that!

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