But It Was Only A Cough

WTF?!?! I’m sitting here minding my own business. I take a brief sip of water and instead of drinking it I breathed it in. The ensuing events can only be described as absolutely horrific.

Not wanting to spew water and saliva all over my monitor and keyboard, I “wisely” stifled the initial cough only to discover my mistake too late. That initial cough would surely have freed me from the inevitable catastrophe that was to follow. I started coughing uncontrollably, and then the wretching started, followed by more uncontrollable coughing…deep coughing, like into your small intestine coughing.

As I realized that I was passed the point of no return, I turned away from the computer. I could only think of the pizza I had eaten, and how it closely resembled a teen acne treatment gone bad. At that point, the pizza I had for dinner made a round trip from my stomach into my mouth and back…delightful. The best part is that not all of it made it back down. I had a decision to make and not a lot of time to make it…spit the chunks on the floor or swallow them back down after collecting them one at a time with my tongue. I chose the latter. Not even Chef Boyardee can make a pizza that tastes good twice…I’m here to testify.