How to Know if your Life has Turned into a Horror Movie

We’ve all been in that situation, you’re watching a horror movie, and feel like hitting your head against the wall thanks to all the mentally challenged decisions the main characters take. In most cases, the act of shouting at the screen, calling the character’s a large array of bad names, is a great way to stop you from feeling scared. Using humour to point out how the character made a wrong decision definitely makes you feel a little less tense. It seems like most of the characters within these films lose all sense of logic, making rather irrational decisions in the hope of coming out in one piece at the end. It is always easier said than done, but if you’re ever greeted by some hockey mask wearing, demon possessed, deformed alien zombie, swinging a chainsaw around, will you run away screaming, or leave the lights off and go take a shower. Here are some things to keep in mind if you ever think your reality has turned into a horror movie.

The day has arrived, time for the big move. Once you arrive at the new house, and you realise that your trusty dog refuses to enter through the front door, or has become completely obsessed with barking at the strange looking shed outside, this is probably the first sign that something isn’t quite right. But hey, animals get confused when they are moved to a new home; you and your perfect cliché family should just shake it off. Once you start hearing strange noises, which seem to always take place at the exact same time every night, alarm bells should start ringing. If you are still stubborn enough to head down into the old and dusty cellar, alone, perhaps you should first pull yourself away from games like Candy Crush or Jack Gold ipad casino just long enough to take a quick look at your youngest child’s artwork, which is sure to be filled with dark, faceless figures. Remember, these high-tech aliens or demons usually lack the intelligence needed to use a door handle. Their social skills are usually a little rusty, they are shy, and therefore choose to communicate to the children, who are less judgemental and mean than you.

If you happen to be the stoner or loser-type character, good news for you, you’ll gallantly have the chance to fill the role of ‘knight in shining armour’, although chances are, you’ll still get killed later. Always remember, once you have finally killed the person or thing that is hunting you, guess what, it’s not really dead. The sooner you learn the concept of the double tap, the sooner you may actually survive… at least until the sequel.

By Jason

 horror movie

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