Mary Had A Little Lamb, And Other Poetry

Mary had a little lamb.
She fed it kerosene.
The little lamb sat near a fire,
Since then its not benzene.

🙂

A pun is the lowest form of wit,
It does not tax the brain a bit;
One merely takes a word that’s plain
And picks one out that sounds the same.
Perhaps some letter may be changed
Or others slightly disarranged,
This to the meaning gives a twist,
Which much delights the humorist.
A sample now may help to show
The way a good pun ought to go:
It isn’t the cough, that carries you off,
It’s the coffin they carry you off in.”

🙂

If you wash your dishes with Pride
Or Joy and the water you’ve tried
To dump on the beach
I’m really should teach
You… Detergent’s not fit to be tide

🙂

My dog wanted some sort of treat
But I was just fresh out of meat
With leftover chops
His whimpering stops
I told the mutt, “Bone appétit”

🙂

Any yard work, to me, is not play.
To my wife words of praise I did say:
“When you’re out cutting grass,
You’re my favorite lass,
And I lawn for you mower each day.”

🙂

An old Catholic priest, Father Blass
Dealt a message both condemning and crass
His sermon was loaded
And it finally exploded
When flock had reached critical mass

🙂

There was a young lady called Bright
Whose speed was far faster than light
She went out one day
In the relative way
And returned the previous night

🙂

Mary had a little lamb
She tied it to a pylon
10,000 volts shot up it’s arse
and turned it’s fleece to nylon

🙂