Just Call Me Chuck Norris

Ok, so you probably shouldn’t really call me Chuck Norris, I am way sexier than he is. Sexiness aside, we are alike in many ways. Examples:

1.)Chuck Norris isn’t hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
2.)When Chuck Norris runs with scissors, other people get hurt.
3.)Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
4.)Chuck Norris does not go hunting because ‘hunting’ implies a chance of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

The above is pretty much true for myself as well. Well, partially true. #3 doesn’t exactly reflect my persona. The thing is, I can’t kick that high. Reason being that my jeans bind up, they don’t stretch at all. When I try to kick high, I kick so hard that my jeans yank my other leg out from under me. That pretty much makes me the laughing stock of the Chuck Norris convention.

Lucky for me, I found these!

(Click ’em to make ’em grow)

I might get all psyched up on diet pills and go nuts kicking everything when I get these.

You had better watch out.

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