Piss People Off In 32 Ways Or Less

Anonymous Sports Betting

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sexual favors.”
3. Specify that your drive-through order is “TO-GO.”
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.”
7. Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what you think.”
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and “cc” them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words “in accordance with prophesy.”
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
13. Constantly try to sell them some Branson real estate.
14. Disassemble your pen and “accidentally” flip the ink cartridge across the room.
15. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
16. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you “like it that way.”
17. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
18. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
19. Honk and wave to strangers.
20. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
21. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
22. type only in lowercase.
23. dont use any punctuation either
24. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
25. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
“DO YOU HEAR THAT?”
“What?”
“Never mind, it’s gone now.”
26. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
27. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce “No, wait, I messed it up,” and repeat.
28. Ask people what gender they are.
29. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
30. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
31. Sing along at the opera.
32. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn’t rhyme.
33. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about “psychological profiles.”

via Green Porridge Cafe

10 thoughts on “Piss People Off In 32 Ways Or Less”

  1. Bucky, you are one evil dewd. ;o)

    Nah… 😉

    Those are funny. I just need to find some test subjects to try them out.

    Depending on which ones you try, you may want to make sure you try them on people you never plan on seeing again.

    LOL funny…the list could also be renamed to “What to do when you’re bored at work”!

    I have actually done some of these while bored at work!

    I want to party with YOU!

    Everybody does brother, everybody does.

  2. Photo copy 3-4 pictures of or ass. Tape them together lengthwise. Feed one end into the fax machine and send it to whom ever your think deserves it. As the first two or so pages come out the otherside, quickly tape the two ends together creating a 4 page ass loop. It will keep going as longer as there is paper in the machine at the other end. People flip out at this one!

  3. Photo copy 3-4 pictures of or ass. Tape them together lengthwise. Feed one end into the fax machine and send it to whom ever your think deserves it. As the first two or so pages come out the otherside, quickly tape the two ends together creating a 4 page ass loop. It will keep going as longer as there is paper in the machine at the other end. People flip out at this one!

    Interesting! I have always had a fear of the copy machine glass breaking and slicing my nice ass to bits. Now, if you were to hold the copy machine up to my ass, that would work.

    OK- you should have warned me to put my coffee down before that one. Have you ever had coffee come out your nose? Ahhh- thank you, that was great.

    I have had a lot of things come and go through my nose. Never any coffee though…. I hope it wasn’t too hot!

  4. definately a cool idea so cool im guna do it and i know just who to send it to thanks awesome idea its all most as good as mooning people going under a bridge expt. no one can harass you

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