Strings And Laces

Anonymous Sports Betting

Something strange is happening to me today. Not to me personally, but to my shoelace. And only the shoelace on my right shoe.

That son of a bitch won’t stay tied at all. I can tie it, and 15 minutes later it’s all loose again, clicking the floor as I walk. These aren’t new shoes either. Quite the contrary, actually, but I have never had this problem with them before.

Maybe this string had enough after yesterday. He just said “Fuck it, you ain’t tyin’ me up anymore.”

Has anyone else ever had this happen to them? Why does it happen?

When shoelaces get old do they lose their tieability? Are there little elves untying my shoe whilst I am busy attending to other things?

WTF is going on here? I must know!

11 thoughts on “Strings And Laces”

  1. Actually, you are trying to cast blame on the wrong actor. I am willing to bet it is not the lowly shoelace that is at fault, but rather the shoe itself.

    I think your shoe, being of advanced age, has lost its structural stability and is flexing as you walk. This flexing is in turn destroying the cosmic energy–friction–that keeps your shoelace tied.

    Now, as to why this mallady seems to be affecting only one shoe. My guess is that one your feet is in someway slightly deformed, or perhaps you have developed an unconscious habit of flexing or applying more pressure with one foot when you walk.

    Christ man there are just some unknowns in the world. You are dealing with some dangerous shit here. Are you really willing to open this Pandora’s box? You might not like what you find. Afterall, it is just a 1/10 to the 1000000…………. power of an mllimeter, gram, newton, etc. here and there that keeps the Earth from spinning off its axis and being sucked into a huge black hole.

    Oh, by the way. I am less than 100 aerial miles from the location of the Large Hadron Collider, so if they do indeed create a massive black hole when they bring it online tommorow, it has been nice knowing you.

    I hear they have been getting over 600 phone calls an hour from religious congregations asking them not to turn it on.

  2. I had to do a bit of research to find out exactly what a Large Hadron Collider is. After skimming this wikipedia entry, I have determined that I still know nothing about it…other than you are closer and will be sucked into the black vortex of screaming death before me.

    Hey man, my foot isn’t deformed. I’ve been out drinking with you on several occasions, and that is not something I could refrain from telling everyone (yourself included) when I am drunk. ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. I believe that shoes are evil. I try not to wear them at all. As for the laced type, I always double knot mine (I only wear laced shoes when running or playing soccer or something) so my problem is usually the opposite, where the shoe and laces are holding my foot hostage!

  4. Strangely enough, I have had this problem myself. I have not figured out the why’s of the situation, but I have learned that the double knots will USUALLY keep the shoe tied. Yes, at times it still comes untied, and that just freaks me out. Sometimes at the end of the day, the shoe is tied, but the double knot is out. It’s really quite freaky. If you ever figure out what is causing this, please share with me!

    Disclaimer – I am not drunk or on medication, I’m dead serious about this and that is truly sad! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  5. Kyra – I hate going barefoot. I’m definitely not a foot / feet guy.

    Crys – I wish I could catch it on camera…blow those Ghost Hunter guys outta the water.

    Hawksdomain – I do good to get one knot tied. Two is out of the question.

    Slick – Should I use regular lube or the “sensual warming” stuff?

    Tim – Your right. I should probably go back to kindergarten and learn how to do some of this stuff again.

    CMG – The handyman’s secret weapon!

    Stephanie – I heard nothing. I swear.

  6. Yes… That used to happen to me all the time with my last pair of shoes – even when they were brand new, even if I double-knotted the laces. I finally gave up on tying, and re-tying them 10+ times/day and then (and this was more irritating than them being untied) everyone would tell me over and over to tie my shoes. I now have shoes with Velcro……

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