What’s The Worst Thing You’ve Ever Done?

Some years ago at a churchy-baptist-summery-youth camp, outside in a large field where around 40 of us were just goofing off, I made the mistake of deciding to play with a boomerang that was there for us to use. I liked boomerangs and was pretty good at throwing the ones I had at home. Now, it probably goes without saying that this one was not an authentic boomerang. It was neither made of wood, nor should it have been around a bunch of kids. This particular craptastic toy was pressed somewhere for .05 cents a unit. It was a very flimsy, too light, neon orange death spinner. It had an edge that would’ve given the best ginsu knife penis envy.

So I threw it, expecting it to act the exact same way as my heavier, wooden ones at home. It didn’t. It flew much too high, then swooped down from the top of its flight… straight across another kid’s face and the bridge of his nose. It bled horribly and they ended up calling an ambulance to take the kid to get stitches. I don’t even know how many that kid needed. But I didn’t have the luxury of leaving the next day. This happened halfway through the first week of a two week camp. So, instead of finding the kid later and apologizing, I avoided him at all costs. A glance at him offered me nothing but a pit in my stomach and a quick turn in the other direction. That worked until he came up to me during the last day. He yelled at me, threatened me, and used profanity I’m still impressed with.. and I just sat there and took it because I deserved it for not doing anything to help the situation.

So what about you? Any good stories you feel like sharing?

7 thoughts on “What’s The Worst Thing You’ve Ever Done?”

  1. First grade, swung my classmate around and let go. His face landed on a corner of the blackboard. Left a mark on his face. His mother came to school the next day. 😛

  2. When I graduated from high school one of my friends and I decided to throw the party to end all parties. I might add that I invited the Buckster, but he said that he “better” things to do. THE NERVE OF SOME PEOPLE!!!!!

    This party took place in a secluded section of the national forest near the area where I grew up.

    My friend and I spent months planning this thing and we procurred what we deemed adequate supplies of substances that would aid in the revelry: three kegs, a gallon of vodka, a gallon of Jim Beam (a must at any party in WV), and a few quarts of the local elixir.

    On the first day of the multi-day event my friend and I arrived early to set up camp and prepare for the arrival of our guests. About thirty minutes after the festivities began I realized the weekend was going to spin out of control, as it was at this point that people began doing keg stands.

    I was trying to remain somewhat sober, as there was a young woman present whom I was trying to impress, however, as the evening waxed my sobriety waned. About ten o’clock a kid I had known since I was four years old showed up and asked me for a drink. I knew he wasn’t a drinker, so I thought I would make him a screwdriver, as given my limited mixer selection I thought he would find this concoction the most palatable. However, my general level of drunkeness resulted in my pouring a sixteen ounce cup about two thirds of the way full of ninety proof vodka. In fact, the cup was so full of ice and vodka that I only managed to squeeze in enough orange juice to slightly discolor the vodka. To my suprise (maybe he didn’t know any better) he began to drink it without complaint.

    Needless to say, about an hour later he was sloppy drunk. It was also at this point he determined that he was a keg stand afficianado. I didn’t pay any attention to him until someone came and told me that he was passed out ten inches from the fire throwing up on himself.

    Being the humanitarian that I am, I decided it was my responsibility to get him into a tent so that he could sleep it off. I then proceded to pick him up and sling him over my shoulder army style, and start toward the tents. However, about halfway there I tripped on some object–at least that is how I remember it–and I pile drived him WWF style head first onto a large rock. He woke up momentarily and bitched about his head, which at this point was bleeding profusely, but since he was conscious enough to bitch I figured he was going to live. I drug him the rest of the way to the tent and flipped him onto his stomach so as any future vomitting incidents would at least run downhill.

    I didn’t here anything out of him until about 1:00 the next day when he woke up and started asking what the hell had happened to his head. Since I was in no mood for explaining what had really happened, I decided to tell him that he got mouthy with two guys who proceeded to beat the shit out of him.

    He left later that evening with his pride firmly planted between his ankles, and to this day I have not heard or seen him.

    Mike, if you are out there? I am sorry man.

  3. BCS – Did you get in trouble?

    Garrick – I remember that story, and I know exactly who you are talking about. 🙂 I also recall something about him having an interview the next day?

  4. @Bucky – His mother gave me a lecture and that’s about it, she didn’t have me brought to the principal’s office or anything like that… she just told me not to do it again and stuff, but still I cried the entire time because I was terrified of her. 😛

    Later she became pretty good acquaintances with my mother… because of that, talks about the incident wouldn’t go away for years! But that’s about the worst I got for it… in fairness to my classmate’s mother, she was VERY MUCH civilized about the entire thing… guess I was lucky. 🙂

    BCSs last blog post..Consumer Alert! Do Not Be Fooled!

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